Some Things Are So Very Thong

                                                             photo images:UK Daily Mail

Humankind never ceases to amaze when it comes to the ingenuity and torturous methods applied to the improvement of the female form.  The newest development, aptly named the Double-O Thong, is the latest piece of personal hardware to evoke clandestine sexiness with which to snag a man.  

Just a few nano seconds ago, being stick thin was the preferred look. Then, it was thin with gigantic boobs.  And now, it's thin, with big hooters and a round, lush tushie. One out of three is not good enough.  You've got to have all of them.  All of these physical attributes involve some sort of pain and for those fortunate to have them all naturally, the inevitability of their loss is no consolation.

Of course, as it is with the Wonder Bra, that crafty, uplifting device which renders flat chests into perky protuberances, the conundrum becomes problematic as the romantic juices begin to flow, and the clothes start to peel off. Now the jig is up.  But, The Double O Thong which, enhances and lifts the sagging buttocks, presents an even more catastrophic dilemma.  Say, that by some small miracle you manage to wriggle out of the contraption without alerting the poor schlepp; now there are are those nasty creases which have been embedded into your skin-plus the redness of the constricted blood flow.  The light definitely needs to be turned off!

I'm going to invent an at-home, shrink-wrap, vacuum device that encases my entire body in cellophane, sucks out the air, smoothes the wrinkles and leaves me gasping sexily.  Of course, I'll  look like a sausage, but then, men like that too.

Honey, get the lights will you?

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